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Thursday, June 03, 2010

I HAVE LOVED YOU

I HAVE LOVED YOU

I have loved you
For Oh so long it seems
with tears, ‘n’ fears and
Sadness of not having you
Here with me

I have loved you
For Oh so long
not knowing Who you are
or even What you would be
yet knowing that somehow
you are a Part of me
I have loved you
For Oh so long and
Dreamed of holding you
in my arms close to my heart
and lulling you to sleep

I have loved you
For Oh so long
without a picture
an image to show or
even an Identity

I have loved you
For Oh so long and
Finally knowing
That you ARE
And we will be Family

I have loved you
For Oh so long
My little One
My only Son
My Ezra!

 
I have loved you
For Oh so long
Knowing you will be
God’s Help in life
And such a
Help to me!

I have loved you
For Oh so long
crying tears of insanity
as political forces,
barriers and seas
keep you so far away
from me

I have loved you
For Oh so long
My Son
Hold on!
and one day soon
We are coming
Come Hell or high water
To bring you home
To be
our family





©jodyB

June 2, 2010







I HAVE LOVED YOU FOR OH SO LONG


I HAVE LOVED YOU







I have loved you


For Oh so long it seems


with tears, ‘n’ fears and


Sadness of not having you


Here with me






I have loved you


For Oh so long


not knowing Who you are


or even What you would be


yet knowing that somehow


you are a Part of me






I have loved you


For Oh so long and


Dreamed of holding you


in my arms close to my heart


and lulling you to sleep






I have loved you


For Oh so long


without a picture


an image to show or


even an Identity






I have loved you


For Oh so long and


Finally knowing


That you ARE


And we will be Family






I have loved you


For Oh so long


My little One


My only Son


My Ezra!






I have loved you


For Oh so long


Knowing you will be


God’s Help in life


And such a


Help to me!






I have loved you


For Oh so long


crying tears of insanity


as political forces,


barriers and seas


keep you so far away


from me










I have loved you


For Oh so long


My Son


Hold on!


and one day soon


We are coming


Come Hell or high water


To bring you home


To be


our family










©jodyB


June 2, 2010














Wednesday, June 02, 2010

BUT...YOU DON'T KNOW ME

BUT YOU DON’T KNOW ME




I flitter, I twirl, I dance
But…you don’t know me
my heart cries out
my soul bleeds
my hunger insatiable
But…you don’t know me


I go on Mindtrips
Lost in my head
Looking for yesterdays
That never were
Or were some how
wrapped
In barbed wire
With pretty yellow roses
and purple satin trim
But…you don’t know me

I have songs inside
Inside me lives a
muse ..
dying for recognition
trying to come out and
play before you
But…you don’t know me
I have a spirit
That loves the Aba FATHER
and so LONGS for
you to know Him
so I can share that part
that special Part of me
But…you don’t know me

Sometimes I live
In HELL
With the Fire burning
and the flames seducing
but there seems no
one cares or hears
my screams
And
you don’t Hear me

i wish i could dance
with you
and hold you tight
My Hero, my Knight
I wish I could bring
You close to my Soul and
KNOW you are really there
And I have tried to
Let you in
to my most intimate me
Yet still

you don’t know me

©jodyB

June 1, 2010¬

I HAVE LOVED YOU FOR OH SO LONG

I HAVE LOVED YOU







I have loved you


For Oh so long it seems


with tears, ‘n’ fears and


Sadness of not having you

Here with me






I have loved you


For Oh so long


not knowing Who you are


or even What you would be


yet knowing that somehow


you are a Part of me





I have loved you


For Oh so long and


Dreamed of holding you


in my arms close to my heart


and lulling you to sleep






I have loved you


For Oh so long


without a picture


an image to show or


even an Identity






I have loved you


For Oh so long and


Finally knowing


That you ARE


And we will be Family






I have loved you


For Oh so long


My little One


My only Son


My Ezra!






I have loved you


For Oh so long


Knowing you will be


God’s Help in life


And such a


Help to me!






I have loved you


For Oh so long


crying tears of insanity


as political forces,


barriers and seas


keep you so far away


from me










I have loved you


For Oh so long


My Son


Hold on!


and one day soon


We are coming


Come Hell or high water


To bring you home


To be


our family










©jodyB


June 2, 2010














Monday, May 31, 2010

Melocholony:To Plath or Not to Plath

Often Times, over the decades that have made up my life, i have vested much time in this melancholic  dream state i find myself.  the ineffable attraction toward "being self=possessed" and ending it all, as well as the dissatisfaction with the lack of acclaim or achievement continue to prevail.  The quandary and the all out dichotomy is that i have a very Strong Faith, and Relationship with GOD

i am married, 10 1/2 yrs with 5 grandchildren...2 step kids- I love my Grandchildren.. My family, my friends and church; but there is a certain almost seductive calling toward melancholia, toward suicide, the "TRAGICALLY HIP" life of Sylvia Plath, Virgina Woof,Emily Dickinson, and the like. and so it goes, and so it was and so i be

jodyB

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

FUZZY BEAR

ABOUT ME


July, 2005. Early Evening. I was cold, hungry and dirty. Seems I had been running around for a week or 2. Nobody looked for me. Nobody wanted me. I was Alone. I had found a nice bed, of sorts, under some leaves. Wasn’t much, but I was not one to complain. What was that noise? I heard some big people coming. I crunched down further under the leaves. What? The Big People are looking for me. Who Are they? WOW, a beautiful young woman picked me up and cuddled me. Then she put me in a box and handed the box to her dad. Would I be safe? Would I find a home again? Would someone love me? The Big People brought me to their house Another Big Person looked right through the filth and saw my eyes…. So hungry for love. She picked me up and bathed me in nice sudsy warm water. She kept cooing over me. She wrapped me in a Big Bathrobe, then held me for a long time till she had to leave. Would this be my home? Would I be Loved again? I was nine years old.

They say that I have a tattoo on my underside, the kind that breeders put on their animals. They say I was a kind of “puppy-mill” and then abandoned when I was no longer able to make puppies. I had bad teeth, horrible breath, and my Lady found a mammary tumor. My ears were filled with mites. In other words, I was NO princess! But my Lady loved me. And I Loved her. I would go every where with her. She had other 4 footeds, which put up with me, at first, and then straight on accepted me. I was home! I was Loved.

In the beginning my Lady was sad a lot. She told me she had lost a very special friend she called her Bearman. She wanted to name me in honour of him. She said “I will call you Fuzzy Bear because you are so fuzzy and you make me happy!”