WORRY & FINANCES

II am worried. I am not sleeping well... have lots of anxiety...my heart is racing and inside, I am scared.

Lord, you said that I should not worry about my life... What to eat or drink... about clothes to wear.

Child, don't worry about your life.. what to eat, or drink, or clothes to put on. Isn't your life MORE than food, and your body than clothing. Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, or gather into barns.... Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Daughter How does your anxiety about life make it get better, or increase your lifetime??? And why do you worry about clothing... Look at the grasses and flowers of the fields.... Even great Solomon wasn't dressed like these.... If God so adorns the flowers in the field, He Will Take Care of you too. Daughter, your faith in me is wavering. I know Your needs before even you do.. Child... Seek me, Talk to me, Cry to me... Seek my Way in your life... and you will have all these needs met. Don't be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow has enough problems of its own... TRUST in ME."

Oh Lord... I am scared... The bills are piling up. We do not have money to pay the mortgage. we need to buy medicine, and food. There is not money available on any Credit Card....and the amount owed is much more than the amt we can pay. I am concerned about work. Scared I will be fired. They have cut my hours, and I am feeling that I am not at my best. GOD I don't know how to Trust you.... Yes, you have taken care of us before --- we have borrowed on credit cards... and spent money in ways we cannot afford. Friends and the church have given us money and food.

And God, I am afraid of him. I do not know how to really talk to him about money. He seems to take it as an afront when I express my worries and pain. He says that he is doing the very best he can. And that he does not even see any of his pay check, as it goes to pay the mortgage,loans, and bills. My paycheck does not cover the credit cards.... Does not cover gasoline bills... Does not cover food needs. Creditors are calling. ANGRY. What if he gets mad at me and gets hostile and abusive in his own anguish. He is in PAIN... and in truth is doing the best that he can. We are middle class people--- we have a nice home, family (and pets). We have cars to drive, and there is food in the fridge. Yes we need more, Gotta pay the piper. Gotta pay morgage, loans, utilities... buy medicine and some food.

I am tied up in knots not over this.

All the verses I know that tell me not to worry... Not to be anxious... But to pray... Do not soothe me. I Know you are in charge... That You know that we need help.. That you say to trust.... I AM SCARED!!!