LONELINESS AND SEX

It is a constant struggle... This pull toward physical,mental fulfillment. Stress is part of life... Always. When the frustration becomes too intense, the soul yearns for freedom and relief. I cry for health... Spiritual awakening.... I cry to ask the Lord to keep me from myself and my own longings... I feel as if I am drowning... and i reach out to the universe.. or, to the very thing that snares me.... my own addiction/compulsion.

Sex is good. I like it... but i yearn for more than there is right now. Is it the Relationship that I find lacking? My Love is not enuf to cover my need...I want to be touched, cuddled, stroked, and seduced. We mis-connect. And I go searching for the nebulous fix. I long to give, but am in sore need of receiving. Mostly, I find self fulfillment, boring and guilt producing... Lately it seems i am insatiable, and crave the release of pent up sexual,emotional frustration. I fantasize..... And again I feel the release of flow... I want more! I want more... More than just sexual release... Yet i want that.

I feel like the woman in "looking for Mr. Goodbar" living one life in public, and quite another in private.

Searches have led me to a thirst and a hunger and desire. And I'm afraid to explore.... I feel pulled down into the cauldron --- the vixen is at it again!

Here comes the passions... Will they be the death of the me???


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labyrinth

This labyrinth

This Frightful Maze

is Home

Home to the Caged

The Haunted Spectre

the hooked nose Ancient One

Who wears anorexic skin

like bags of courage.

To the somnambulistic Child

running in and out of

Fantasy

and Dream-like reality

Home

to the Seductive Wench

cajoling all to dance

the sordid swirl with the

Phantom of Virility

--to the Angry serpent

spitting venomous lies

and shooting daggers of obscenities.

This Labryinth

this frightful Maze is Home

Home to the many

voices and facets

of my personality

(c) jody