FINE Border Line Personality Disorder

Hey...

When I was in "recovery" I heard the Term F.I.N.E. was an accronym for

Fearful
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

Well, that is what i am right now... Scared!!! So much is happening inside my head.I am traveling a hundred miles a minute in so many directions.... And I am not very able to stop the spinning.

Usually my messages are mostly upbeat.... BuT I need Help...

Is there anyONE Out there who can help and Understand and STOP THE CHAOS INSIDEEE



HELP PLEASE

Strange nite at work

Wow!!! I had a really Strange nite at work. The fire alarms were going off continuously from 3:15 to 4:20AM Many of the Residents of the Adult Assisted Living Facility were quite agitated. I left my work in the Specialty care unit and ran up the stairs to the 3rd floor... Telling people who were up to go back to their rooms and shut the door. We are having a Fire Drill. It was a truly awful experience!!! My ears were hurting. But Something was different., I was In charge of some of these Folks... I had a job to do. Make sure the people were all safe. , So consequently, I put every thin out of my mind to the best of my ability, and on maintaining their safety and my Sanity. It is often that I go into crying spells and have anxiety attacks. How odd that I could redirect my tendancies to panics. I call it the Enforcer mode, You see, when there is serious trauma around, I can handle it sometimes, but when the whirlwind is in me... I Loose it... I Cry, I crumble... I whole up in a little ball.

Food for thought:If I shift my focus from the internal chaos, and look at the external pain, will I then be able to controls and soothe my
own unwielding emotions. I am worth Caring for. I care for the Residents at the Home. I am someone important too. I matter.. Stand up and Fight, You can do this, I knnow you can!!!!