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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

FRUSTRATION

today i went to see gyno to have another shot of testosterone. Told him of the scariness inside and all the pent up frustrations and acting out on web. Did not know if wanted the shot or not... thinking that it may produce some of this angst. I want to be attractive to my husband... I do not want to loose "me" as I know me. I have always had a relatively high sexual energy... and it has been a source of addictive behaviour for me. Don't want the addictive behaviour... but still want the energy... the desire to be desired, and the desire to please.

I am frustrated. I want to beat out my frustrations some way. I have done so in the past by running, biking, and using the punch bag. What will i do today.

Will be going to work tomorrow evening. That should help.

God... are you hearing me??? PLEASE!!!!

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